I suffer from Ménière's syndrome, an ear disorder that causes vertigo, persistent ringing in the ears, and some loss of hearing. In my case, if the low-pitched sounds are too strong, my head starts spinning so bad that I need to lie down before I lose my balance and fall. My TV and radio have been put away in the closet for a long time.
In March 2004, my boss sent me to cover a conference on volunteer work in the Italian community here in Rijeka, Croatia. I didn't know I was about to meet some wonderful people from the Family International. Anna, Paolo, Andrea, and Simone talked wholeheartedly about their mission. I found out that they do clown therapy for children in orphanages and hospitals, and they found out that I know how to sew. The next thing I knew, I was a newspaper reporter by day and sewing clown costumes by night. I kept it up for ten nights, but didn't feel tired in the least. I was happy to be helping people who were helping others.
And now my Christmas story begins. ...
Last December, I saw Andrea and Maggie at the Family's stand in a local shopping mall, and I bought their Rhythm of Christmas CD album. For someone with serious hearing problems, this was definitely an odd thing to do. I didn't even have a CD player! At least I knew that by buying something I would be helping their mission.
The next evening, on my way to another assignment, I walked into an electronics shop almost without thinking and came out with a CD player. I couldn't wait to get home and listen to that CD! Almost as soon as it started to play, a river of tears streamed down my face. Pictures of my late husband, sister, and aunt flashed before my eyes. Four years earlier, within the space of 13 months, all of them had died of cancer. While they had been on their deathbeds, I was with them, sharing their Calvary. I know what it is to share in others' suffering, to feel helpless, forsaken, and to be left alone.
At one point I wanted to turn off what seemed to be the source of my tears, but when I couldn't lift my hand to press the off button, I realized I needed to listen to it. I played it for over two hours. The more I listened and cried, the greater peace I felt and the more my soul was set free--finally free from the burden of suffering and desperation that I had carried inside for four years.
It was such a wonderful feeling that the next morning I wanted to listen to the CD again. How can I, at work? I wondered, even as I stuffed the CD and player into my bag. Since it was just two days before Christmas, I asked my colleagues if I could play it for everyone. No one objected.
Twenty minutes into the album, someone said, "Thank you! I haven't felt so good in here for a long time!" In addition to the usual pressures of putting out a newspaper, our paper is constantly on the brink of bankruptcy. The atmosphere in our office is often quite tense, but this heavenly music broke through all that.
On Christmas Eve I gave another copy of Rhythm of Christmas to one of my colleagues as a present. She too had suffered a terrible tragedy in her family, and still hadn't recovered. She too couldn't find peace. On the 26th, she came to work radiant with joy. I couldn't remember ever seeing her so happy. "As soon as I started listening to that CD," she said as she gave me a big hug, "I felt lighter and even started singing and dancing."
Once I saw the wonderful effect that CD had on her, I started giving copies to other friends. It didn't matter that Christmas had come and gone.
A man who had been going through a particularly difficult time "found meaning to the suffering and the way to regain strength."
One of my relatives said he felt alive again.
Another friend now goes around singing its tunes and has lost her perpetual frown. She can't thank me enough for the present.
To her and each of the others I answered that seeing them happy and at peace, ready to receive and give love, is greater thanks and reward than I ever imagined.
Now whenever I meet volunteers from the Family, I joke that they must be getting tired of me always buying the same CD. But what can I do? Everyone I know who has listened to it has felt better--starting with me!
The more I listened and cried, the greater peace I felt and the more my soul was set free
[You can order Rhythm of Christmas from Aurora Production]
